Thank you, lonelyXdreamer. I appreciate your comments and concern. I've been so upset thinking about this and what to do. Yes, I can and will avoid the family gatherings. I'm hoping to work in a co. that works on holidays, so I can just volunteer to work every holiday and it won't be an issue. Short of that, I will volunteer at local shelters rather than attend the family events. I would enjoy that so much more. I do a lot of volunteer work now. The hurdle I am facing now is that my husband has told me that the kids and I 'are not enough for him'. He wants his family. Wants to live near them, have them drop in every day, spend weekends and vacations with them. That is death to me. I'm waiting to see if some relatives are joining us for vacation this spring. I can tolerate them, but I won't enjoy myself and kids as much as if they weren't going. (Thankfully it is not SIL). They will monopolize my husband and do what they can to make me feel inferior. So, I'm dieting (down 6 lbs.!) and exercising and trying to think positive thoughts, taking it one day at a time. Sending resumes and keeping an open mind. Trying not to blame myself for getting in this mess in the first place. I just can't fathom why his family is allowed to come between us. I would never let my family treat him like this. I can honestly say my family has never once interferred in our marriage or been rude to my husband. These are middle class to upper middle class people. I really expected to be treated with respect and caring, not opposition, interference, control. I feel better knowing that all of you agree this is not appropriate behavior and that I am entitled to remove myself from the abuse. That is huge for me.