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Thread: First time sex problems

  1. #1
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    Unhappy First time sex problems


    Hey all,

    My boyfriend and I recently tried to make love for the first time however it didn't quite go exactly as we had expected. Firstly I'm a rather large girl and am about 5'6, he is 6'3 average build and I can just about support his weight on top of me (if I breathe at the right times lol ) It was both of our first times so understandable we're inexperienced and nervous. He had trouble locating where he should put his penis to start with and once he had found it, it kept slipping out. This happened over and over again and became so frustration- he lost his erection and we both gave up. This happened every time we tired. I know he penetrated me a few times because it hurt quite a bit, but as soon as he did he would move and it would slip out again I would really appreicate any advice or reason for this! We have a very long distance relationship (he is studying in the States and I live in the UK) and I won't get to see him again until next summer, so we won't get to "practice". Thank you for any comments!

    <3 Dreamer

  2. #2
    Senior Member Array Chantalemma's Avatar
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    It is all normal. My first few times it happened a lot.l Him slipping out easily. I would say for the first few times, try lying on your back with your legs up. I am also a big girl or used to be. Haev your legs on his chest or arround his waist. Let him enter you and slide in an out. Tell him not to move to quickly at first. It gets both of you used to the situation. Beleive me when I say you will get the hang of it all. We all do.

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    Phew! Thank you for your reply, I was starting to worry I was doing something wrong, I feel reassured now- Thank you so much

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    I would bet that a large percentage of people have a 'story' about their first time. I distinctly remember my boyfriend at the time going into the bathroom to put on a condom - and he kept his socks on the whole time

    As regards the slipping out - you may just need to try different positions. Try not to rush things and definitely don't get frustrated with each other.

    If you wanted to 'practise' alone, you might try using something artificial and of a similar size to your boyfriend to find how best you can keep things ticking along - not essential though.

    Bottom line is, please do not worry!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by DiamondsOne View Post
    I would bet that a large percentage of people have a 'story' about their first time. I distinctly remember my boyfriend at the time going into the bathroom to put on a condom - and he kept his socks on the whole time

    As regards the slipping out - you may just need to try different positions. Try not to rush things and definitely don't get frustrated with each other.

    If you wanted to 'practise' alone, you might try using something artificial and of a similar size to your boyfriend to find how best you can keep things ticking along - not essential though.

    Bottom line is, please do not worry!!
    I'm trying not to worry but it's hard not to, seeing him get so frustrated (he's used to getting things right first time **sigh** men!) was hard for me because I felt like no amount of reassurance helped. I tried on top of him but it didn't seem any better as it was uncomfortable for me. Thank you for your reply, I think because it was our first time we weren't really sure what to expect and such, and it was somewhat painful for me so I guess that didn't help the situation. Is it possible that because I was nervous and tense it was forcing him out of me?

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    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) Array Ahryin's Avatar
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    you know...you can also try doggystyle that would give him a clear shot! I'm a big girl so I know..lol
    Also like chanta said try with him sitting upright and your legs up and open or up on his shoulders or knees to your chest...it gives him a clear view of the area and feels pretty dang gone good
    Everything I'm not makes me Everything I am

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    Are you sure it got all the way in? Try using lube, use your fingers to make sure he knows where he's going first, and then take it slow and relax. Good luck!

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    Quote Originally Posted by nightqueen View Post
    Are you sure it got all the way in? Try using lube, use your fingers to make sure he knows where he's going first, and then take it slow and relax. Good luck!
    Honestly I couldn't tell you- being that it was our first time I wasn't altogether sure how it was meant to feel. I know it went it somewhat, but how far, I couldn't say. I'm not sure we'd need a lube as I was pretty wet, so I don't think that was the issue, but thank you for the suggestion!

    Ahryin-

    I tried to put my legs on his shoulders but he told me I wasn't helping so I just let him do what he wanted lol- he was exceptionally frustrated at the point I was doing that though so that's probably why. Forgive my inexperience but how does doggy style help? I think being the first time we just wanted to be able to see each other.

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    WH Assistant Head Moderator Array LanaBear's Avatar
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    You both need to try and relax. Frustration from both of you is going to kill the mood and make it difficult. Try just enjoying each other first, do a lot of heavy foreplay, it will happen when it happens. Try not to push it. If it doesn't happen try again a little while later.

    Try with you on top next time. That way, if it hurts, you have control over how far he goes up inside of you. If you are not wet enough, be sure to use lube. Once he's fully seated up in you, give your body time to adjust to him. Practice makes perfect.
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    Quote Originally Posted by daydreamer82 View Post
    Honestly I couldn't tell you- being that it was our first time I wasn't altogether sure how it was meant to feel. I know it went it somewhat, but how far, I couldn't say. I'm not sure we'd need a lube as I was pretty wet, so I don't think that was the issue, but thank you for the suggestion!

    Ahryin-

    I tried to put my legs on his shoulders but he told me I wasn't helping so I just let him do what he wanted lol- he was exceptionally frustrated at the point I was doing that though so that's probably why. Forgive my inexperience but how does doggy style help? I think being the first time we just wanted to be able to see each other.
    I can understand that--I wouldn't want to do doggy style my very first time having sex. You guys will get there.

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