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Thread: How do I get my man as excited about sex as I am?

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    Default How do I get my man as excited about sex as I am?


    I have found in the last few years my lust for sex is on the rise. To my disapointment, my husband's isn't. I have to be the prodominent persuer for sex. I talk about sex and things I would like to try to show him I'm interested and wanting to try new things, but it doesn't seem to have any effect. I even tried suggesting we try dirty talk and he mentioned I could if I wanted to.
    Our relationship is wonderful as is the sex when we do have it, I just think about sex 24/7 and I need help to try to come up with ways to get him more interested. Am I being to forward? Is there such a thing? Does he need the thrill of the chase? I'm so lost and confused...not to mention deprived!

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array metalbudderfly's Avatar
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    hi nightdragon,
    well as you are finding out usually a womans sexual appetite will peak as they get older like in their 30's or so while a mans has peaked when they were younger. as a man ages his testosterone will decline usually decreasing his labido. i'm sorry that you have to feel deprived in that way it is not a great feeling. maybe you could if you haven't already sat down and explain to him your feelings about this maybe you guys could reach some sort of compromise. if your adventurous in the bedroom maybe suggest a "toy" of some sort he could use on you if he wasn't feeling paticularly amorous it could help satisfy you and i'm sure he would have alot of fun trying these things with you. who knows it might get him more in the mood. well good luck to you. Lynne

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    I tried the toy thing and for some reason I cannot get into it at all. That buzzing little thing drove me crazy (and not in a good way! SOme days I think I'm the only one alive that hates vibrators!) Thats the worst part there doesn't seem to be a substitute. Thank you very much for the suggestions, I really appreciate it, because I am truly stumped on this one!

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    Can you call my wife and tell her your secret?

    Seriously.

    As for your husband - most people will tell you it's a communication thing. We went to a marriage seminar recently and the speaker said that if your partner is refusing to meet your needs and won't communicate about it, than you need to start taking away privileges in the relationship...and sex isn't the only privilege. I'm sure you do most of the household chores, allow him to hang with the guys for sports, etc. Well, sit him down and let him know that all those things that you do to meet his needs will stop until he takes your needs seriously.

    Than you have to stick to it. And if he starts to change (and remember, it won't be all at once - it will be a gradual change) than you start to reinstate privileges...

    It's not foolproof, but I know a couple who tried it and it worked.

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    I dont really know if I could take away a privelige, it would seem weird like he was a kid. Besides he hates sports so I couldnt take that away and he helps with the household chores. He is absolutely wonderful in every way which is why I married him, now I just have to kick his libido up a notch! Thats a good suggestion though, thanks!

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    WH Super Moderator Array Fallen1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NightDragon_81 View Post
    ....I just think about sex 24/7 ....
    You are not the only one! My switch is turned on high and it never shuts down. Sometimes I feel as though something is wrong with me because I am so "hungry" for it. I once even apologized to my man because of it.

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    Yeah I hear that Fallen! So now how do we get through to the menfolk?

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    Welcome Committee Club Array dr.mansview's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fallen1 View Post
    You are not the only one! My switch is turned on high and it never shuts down. Sometimes I feel as though something is wrong with me because I am so "hungry" for it. I once even apologized to my man because of it.
    and if he seems put off by your constant "itch"..tell him you can't help it; your just so dang sexy..
    a smart man learns from his mistakes..a wise man learns from the mistakes of others..

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    Believe me Dr Mansview, I have tried! I tell him all the time morning and night that I want him, and although I think he thinks I'm being sweet or something, he doesn't seem to get that I'm dead serious. What's a girl gotta do wear a sign

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    C
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    Quote Originally Posted by NightDragon_81 View Post
    I have found in the last few years my lust for sex is on the rise. To my disapointment, my husband's isn't. I have to be the prodominent persuer for sex. I talk about sex and things I would like to try to show him I'm interested and wanting to try new things, but it doesn't seem to have any effect. I even tried suggesting we try dirty talk and he mentioned I could if I wanted to.
    Our relationship is wonderful as is the sex when we do have it, I just think about sex 24/7 and I need help to try to come up with ways to get him more interested. Am I being to forward? Is there such a thing? Does he need the thrill of the chase? I'm so lost and confused...not to mention deprived!
    What you speak about is the main complaint of women that want to be sexual. Sometimes the libido's change. If I look back on my life my husand always used to tell me when he had this wonderful hard on and want to jump me that "someday you will be sorry. I will not be like this all my life". And I would silenty think. Thank God. I had my great moment but they were mostly my moments, he waited. I was rather a selfish lover. Took me a few years to get with the routine of love. We had three kids within 8 years and with his shifts we had plenty of love making but most of the time he was the agressor.

    I believe I saw some signs of slowing down in my middle 50's but he was really pretty horny all the time then I changed and like you, it was hot.

    Where I am now is a joke. But it is a nice joke and I love it. My problem is keeping him on the same novel I am on. Not the same page as he could never be on that page but reading the same book and for us that is a good three times a week of hot sex.

    Your struggles now just might get worse so stay on top of them. Do some teasing, start in the afternoon. Nothing quite like bending over him in the front seat of the car to get it started. Just things like back when you were going out. Those were some fun days......
    Last edited by C; 12-28-2007 at 10:32 PM.

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